My favorite quotes

These quotes are from officers and men in my unit.

A nasty remark you tell someone who just fell while skiing:
"I didn't hear anyone shout COVER!"

A standard remark you say when something doesn't work:
"If it doesn't work with violence, use more violence."

"Life is tough and then you die."
- Lieutenant Benerdal

"Pain is only weakness leaving the human body."
- Lieutenant Benerdal

"This exercise is like John Holmes dick during anal sex: it's long, hard and shitty."
- Unknown (well, I know who said it, but I'm not telling...)

These quotes are from famous military commanders.

"In war there is no substitute for victory."
- General Douglas MacArthur

"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it."
- General Robert E. Lee

"Compared to war, all other forms of human endeavor shrink to insignificance. God, how I love it."
- General George Patton

"You may consider every man your enemy who speaks ill of your king, and you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
- Lord Nelson

"In politics stupidity is not a handicap."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

"The battlefield is a scene of relentless chaos. The winner is the one that best controls this chaos, both his own and his enemy's."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

These quotes are from famous politicians and statesmen:

"A warship is the best ambassador."
- Oliver Cromwell

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
- Ronald Reagan

"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic."
- Joseph Stalin

"In starting and waging war, it is not right that matters, but victory."
- Adolf Hitler

"This is a great day for France!"
- Richard Nixon, while attending Charles de Gaulle's funeral

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
- Herbert Hoover

"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
- Harry S. Truman

These quotes are from various famous actors, writers, scientists etc:

"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone

"The hardest thing in the world to comprehend is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."
- Robert Oppenheimer (inventor of the atomic bomb)

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog."
- Mark Twain

"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
- Aldous Huxley

"A civilised man is someone who has discovered something more satisfying than combat."
- John Keegan

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
- Clark's Law

"Earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is limitless."
- Gustave Flaubert.

"An opinion is not necesarily correct just because you're willing to die for it."
- Oscar Wilde

"When people agree with me I always get the feeling that I'm wrong."
- Oscar Wilde

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
- Robert Frost

"When the rich make war it's the poor that die."
- Jean-Paul Sartre

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!"
- Emiliano Zapata

"War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it."
- Desiderius Erasmus

"Nothing is as terrible to see as ignorance in action."
- Goethe

"Being good at being stupid doesn't count."
- Unknown

"To have no ideas and being able to express them is the essence of journalism."
- Karl Kraus

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
- Unknown

These quotes are about relationships, money and sex:

"God gave all men a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time."
- Robin Williams

"Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right."
- Woody Allen

"A man can not live on narcotics alone."
- 'Nick' (from the movie Drugstore Cowboy)

"The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, »What does a woman want?«"
- Sigmund Freud

"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in the world. Now that I am old I know this to be true."
- Oscar Wilde

"Money is to women what horseshit is to flies."
- Martin Trenneborg

"A succesful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A succesful woman is one who can find such a man."
- Lana Turner

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristoteles Onassis

"Lotto is an extra tax for stupid people."
- A Harvard professor on CNN

These quotes are from the tactical simulation game "Phoenix Commmand".

"There is no such thing as excessive violence."
- Gil the Treacherous

"Don't think of it as being vastly outnumbered, think of it as having a very wide shot selection."
- Generalissimo Puerco, President for life

"Join the army...Where every day could be your last."
- Sgt. Ingram

"Why are you ducking? He couldn't possibly hit us in the head from there."
- Humbert NoDose, his last words

"What do you expect me to do with him? He's got more holes than a golf course."
- Dr. Oscar Schneiderbunk, field surgeon

"Oops."
- Ex-officer Axly

"Who died and made you Lieutenant?"
- Sgt. Servo

"I must be doing something right. Not everyone here is dead."
- Dr. Oscar Schneiderbunk, field surgeon

"Listen Lieutenant, we either do it my way or I'll have to shoot you."
- Sgt. Servo

"My loyal troop...you've come back to save me!"
- Captain Stora, wounded in the legs
"Actually, sir, we came back for your gun..."
- Gil the Treacherous

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time... and that should be enough to get you through."
- Excerpt, King's Men Political Manual

"You can kill some of the people all of the time, and you can kill all of the people some of the time, but you can't kill all of the people all of the time... because then who'll grow the food?"
- Excerpt, King's Men Political Manual

"You can never be too rich or too violent."
- B. Toast

"The first lesson of war, my son, is that you can only parry a sword blow with your hand once."
- Louie the One-Armed Wonder

"Look, Dirk, if your're going to bleed, bleed on the enemy."
- Horatio

"Well, Dirk, if you're going to die, could you at least die in a strategically useful position?"
- Norman Steele

"I've never shot a man who wasn't at the end of my bayonet."
- Bayonete Pete, a man largely unclear on small arms tactics

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